Monday, June 23, 2014

L.A. Noire Sucks: "More Like L.A. Bore"















L.A. Noire showed a lot of potential back in 2011. Going down its list of features, we have: a unique setting and theme, based around 1940s Los Angeles in a film noir-inspired detective story; a finely-detailed open world to explore, complete with side-missions; an emphasis on old-school adventure-style crime scene investigations; and never-before-seen facial animation technology allowing for realistic interrogations. This game had a lot to be excited about, and all of the pre-release hype and post-release praise had me quite eager to play it. But, as is seemingly always the case with such critically-hyped games, I found it incredibly disappointing and overrated.

L.A. Noire is one of the most expensive games ever made, and it shows. An astonishing amount of research went into accurately recreating 1947 Los Angeles, right down to traffic patterns and smog levels, and every square foot of the city is rendered with extraordinary detail. The facial animations, meanwhile, are some of the most realistic I've ever seen in a video game. All of this historical and graphical fidelity comes at the expense of gameplay, however, as if developer Team Bondi spent all their time and money bringing this wonderful world to life aesthetically, and then forgot to design some worthwhile gameplay to bring it to life mechanically.

You play as Cole Phelps, a young LAPD officer and former war hero of the Pacific theater, going through a couple of quick calls from police dispatch, which serve as a basic tutorial for all of the game's major gameplay elements -- driving, shooting, chasing, fist-fighting, investigating, and interrogating. After demonstrating an affinity for thorough police work, Phelps finds himself promoted to full-time casework for the LAPD's traffic desk. From there, he works his way up to homicide cases, then vice cases, and finally arson cases, while three different storylines (flashbacks from Phelps' marine unit in the war, cutscenes depicting the stories behind newspaper headlines, and the events happening to Phelps during his cases) run independently and eventually weave themselves together in the game's final act.

Cole Phelps is awkwardly denied a drink at the end of a case.

It's pretty cool when you start to realize the significance of how everything's actually related, but it's difficult to care about any of the three ongoing storylines until you make some progress in the vice cases, roughly three-quarters of the way through the game. Everything is so disjointed until that point, with random characters you never see outside of their random cutscenes, that you have no context to understand the importance of what you're being shown. Even once the importance is made clear, you've probably long forgotten about everything you'd been shown previously.

Even the main story that happens in present time around Phelps comes off feeling awfully disjointed. L.A. Noire's case-based gameplay structure feels a lot like a procedural crime drama television series, where each episode is a stand-alone story with no continuity between them, because you spend basically the entire first half of the game solving random, unrelated cases. The case structure offers a nice rhythm for playing the game in smaller chunks with designated stopping points, but it was a bit tiresome to me. I felt like I was just repeating the same process over and over again without making any actual progress in the story, because the story essentially resets itself after every completed case. I hit a point seven or eight hours in when I had to ask myself "why am I playing this game? What's the ultimate point?"

The low point in the story comes during the transition between the third and fourth acts when it's revealed that your character has been having an affair with a German jazz singer. It's a major event in the story with major consequences for your character, and it happens mostly off-screen and completely beyond your control. Although you play a set protagonist with his own history and personality, you're left in control of Phelps for a lot of the game, and the game shapes itself based on your actions. An investigation will turn out a little differently depending on what you do, so it's quite easy to feel yourself in the role of the protagonist and I felt betrayed that my own character was having an affair behind my back.

Phelps visiting Elsa's jazz club.

The big reveal was made all the more irritating because Phelps had always been portrayed as too much of a straight-laced, by-the-book goody-two-shoes to cheat on his wife -- whom we only ever see for a few seconds in the entire game. He doesn't flirt with other women and dismisses the notion when others prompt him to; he berates his partners for drinking on the job; he insists that they have a moral obligation to the people of Los Angeles to do their jobs properly; and he showed no signs whatsoever of being unsatisfied with his home life. News of the affair gets out and he's immediately suspended from the police force, forced to turn in his badge and gun; ten seconds later, you're working arson cases without any kind of time lapse or explanation for why you're back on the force.

Even though the game is pretty good at immersing you in the role of the protagonist, it also likes to take control away from you by deciding when you can and cannot use your gun, usually in the most illogical and counter-intuitive situations. Once I had a suspect fleeing a crime scene and I had a clear shot either to shoot his leg out, or to hold my aim on him for five seconds to trigger the sequence-ending warning shot, but for whatever reason, I couldn't pull out my gun. The suspect got into a car and I was close enough that I could have easily shot the tires out, but once again, I couldn't do the most logical thing in that situation. I ran down the street looking for a vehicle; I saw a car on the other side of the fence and tried to climb over it, only to find I couldn't climb over a fence I should normally have been able to, simply because the game wanted me to get in the one, specific car they scripted into the chase scene.

In another situation, a suspect hijacked a trolley car and I had to race him around the city trying to disable it. Once I succeeded, I swerved to a stop and got out of my car, ready to apprehend the suspect. I was already at the door to the trolley car as he was getting off of it, plenty close enough to have tackled the guy and handcuffed him (like any good cop would), but for whatever reason the game decided this was supposed to be a scripted gunfight and I had no choice but to shoot him to death. Once I realized I couldn't even punch the guy, I tried shooting him in the arms and legs, trying to disarm or disable him non-lethally, but the game has no such system for wounding NPCs -- every hit simply whittles down their remaining health, and all I was doing was killing him more slowly by aiming for non-vital organs.

Punching a dude in the face, in the middle of the street.

These are just two examples of a recurring problem throughout the entire game -- in a game where you're supposed to be role-playing a police detective, it frequently makes you do the exact opposite thing a good police officer should be doing. Playing L.A. Noire is often an exercise of trying to guess the game's intended logic (or simply resigning yourself to its sometimes overly-restrictive script), rather than acting on your instincts to perform the most logical or appropriate action in a given situation, and this is no more evident than in its touted interrogation scenes.

The interrogation scenes are supposed to be L.A. Noire's strongest selling point, but the execution is so flawed that it basically breaks the entire game for me. The idea is for you to read a person's facial expressions looking for ticks and tells to determine if they're withholding information from you or hiding some kind of emotional reaction, and then you decide if they're telling the truth, if you doubt their story, or if you think you have evidence to prove they're telling a lie. Choosing correctly will get them to reveal extra clues; choosing incorrectly will get you nowhere or could even make the suspect uncooperative. It's a cool idea in theory, but the system is so illogically finicky that making the correct choice is usually just a random guess.

Whenever you accuse someone of lying, the game brings up a list of evidence that you can select from to prove it -- sometimes you'll have multiple pieces of overlapping evidence but only one of them is coded as the "correct" choice, even though all of them should be logical, reasonable options. In one scenario, a group is selling stolen cars by forging pink slips. I tracked down two suspects whose pink slips both list the same address, which I found to be a vacant lot. When asked to prove that the two are in cahoots, the two logical choices are "vacant lot" and "pink slips." Since you only know about the vacant lot because of the address printed on the duplicate pink slips, it might seem reasonable to point to the pink slips as the source, but apparently doing that is completely wrong and causes you to fail the interrogation.